A Tale of Two Suits
When is a suit not just a suit? The typical men’s clothing store would say that a suit is always more than the fabric, cut, style, etc. In other words, a suit makes a statement. However, I know more than a few men for whom a suit is just that – a suit – and maybe less, like a nuisance. What you see above is the fabric of a new suit I recently purchased, and I guarantee you, it’s way more than just an ordinary suit. It’s what I’ll be wearing to our son’s wedding.
As you might imagine, living in our household these days has been far more exciting and busier than usual. Our son Chris is getting married on November 25 – a little over two weeks away. He is marrying a wonderful Christian young lady named Rebekah, who has been brave enough to stay with her future in‑laws (us) for the past few months while starting her new job and planning the wedding. We’ve really enjoyed getting to know her better and she still intends to marry our son, so it seems we haven’t messed up anything too badly. During these months of wedding preparation, Ruth and I have tried to help a bit here and there, but we’ve also focused on our wedding attire. Apparently, jeans and a flannel shirt won’t cut it as father of the groom, or so I was told. Which brings me back to the suit.
When I went to purchase it, I knew it had to be in the black-charcoal-gray spectrum, given the wedding colors, but didn’t know much else. I also knew it couldn’t look like the groom’s suit, which will be in a darker charcoal shade. I had to match accessories, decide on a tie color and pattern, pocket square or no pocket square, etc. I think you get the picture. But that still doesn’t answer the question of why this particular suit?
The new suit checks all the boxes from a technical point of view, but it needs to say something. It needs to reflect me. Thus, while the pattern is a very sedate gray, it has a more complicated pattern when you get closer. The cut is for someone my size, so it’s not a slim fit or a heavily contoured cut. The pants are a traditional length and cut, and it has a small, dignified lapel pin. In short, it’s a suit for a 60-year-old father of the groom. (For all you guys who hate clothes shopping, thanks for hanging in there. It gets more interesting.)
Now let me take you back to 1984, long ago when my wife and I first met. For our first date, I took her to the symphony and afterward to one of the most elegant (and pricey) restaurants in the city. On a student income, it was the equivalent of mortgaging my home for that date. In retrospect, it was more than worth it, and she was thankfully swept off her feet. What did I wear? A suit, but a very different one than the wedding suit I just purchased.
The suit that night was a dark blue pinstripe; a very serious blue pinstripe. I matched it with a bright red tie and white shirt. I was a lot skinnier back then, so it was a slim fit and very stylish cut. To be blunt, it exuded power and intensity. And why shouldn’t it? I was all set to take on the world with what I had learned at college and my talents and abilities. I was impressive, and clearly the girl on my arm thought so. I later learned that my “impressiveness” had very little to do with her dating and marrying me, although she did admit to liking me in that suit.
A few days ago, it struck me how those two suits in some way represent the tremendous changes that have occurred over the decades. They represent the shift from a twenty-something arrogant kid, to a person who realizes he doesn’t know everything (which is proven almost daily). The suits denote a shift in thinking about what matters – from physical objects and status, to intangibles and actions based on deeply held beliefs. It means that I’ve learned to trust the Lord more over the past decades and that He’s led me to understand how important public policy is in protecting my faith in our current society. And yes, my new suit also mirrors the lines on my face and my gray beard, from years of work, parenting, and life’s ups and downs. Hopefully, there is some wisdom woven into that suit fabric as well.
On November 25, I won’t be the star of the show, and that is how it should be. I don’t have that blue pinstripe suit anymore, and even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t wear it to my son’s wedding. I don’t fit the blue suit anymore, in more ways than one. And that’s for the better. My son is starting his life with a gray suit, and that is a far wiser place to begin.